Guess Who's Back?

 We all knew it was going to happen; the blog was going to be making a comeback the moment I stepped foot on Italian soil once again. So here we are. And I’m pleased to say that, although in some ways an awful lot has changed in the last year, like the UK leaving the European Union (I was going to have to mention it at some point so I’ll get it out the way now), my own personal knack for getting into hot water when travelling and my ability to make ridiculous language blunders have not left me. I shall explain. This will probably get quite lengthy though so the usual summary can be found just above language blunders at the end, for your convenience.

Firstly I should probably say why it is that I’m back in my favourite country, apart from for funsies, of course. As many of you will know, I’ll be starting an MA in Translation at the University of Bath in September. I’ve come to realise that this probably means I have to stop acting like a nitwit by swanning around in the holidays not doing anything and actually get something productive done. So I’m here in Milan doing a month-long internship with a company that will remain nameless, in a bid to get my brain reengaged with the Italian language, bump up the CV, and mostly importantly enjoy the Italian lifestyle once again.

Around 36 hours before I was due to fly to Milan and then transfer to a small town called Novara (about 45 minutes west of the city), I got an email saying that I would no longer be working there, but in another office, which is slap bang in the middle of Milan. At first it was a little daunting and the last minute change of plans freaked me out somewhat, but I’m really glad I’ve ended up here and I'm super grateful to everyone who helped me sort myself out at such late notice. Despite what people said to me prior to my arrival, Milan is great from what I’ve seen so far. The centre is nowhere near as big as people make it out to be, and the part that I’m based in is not industrial at all. It's actually very picturesque and one of the main features is a three storey Eataly which has a michelin star restaurant in it. Yes please.

Landing over Lombardy

But before I go any further with talking about work- what account of my travels abroad would be complete without both completely embarrassing myself and managing to have a near death experience all before reaching my accommodation? Certainly not this one. I was feeling exceedingly chirpy as I stepped into the arrivals hall at Malpensa Airport. So chirpy in fact, that as I was walking along one of those flat escalators that one finds only in airports, I managed to misjudge the end of it because I was too busy looking fondly at the mountains in the distance and reminiscing about Trento. The result? Falling. Flat on my face. In front of an entire class of Italian schoolchildren who proceeded to laugh at me like there was no tomorrow. I think I need to learn to make lower key entrances.

Stazione centrale

Anyway, having gotten over the initial shame of THAT delightful experience, I then hopped into a taxi and managed to get the words “Posso andare alla stazione centrale di Milano per favore” out of my mouth, which prompted the taxi driver to have a full blown conversation with me for the next half hour. Don’t get me wrong, my new mate Marco the tassista was a great guy, mainly because he kept telling me how ‘intelligente’ and ‘bravissima’ I was to be travelling to Italy on my own and working here for a month at the ‘uncorrupted age of 21’ (whatever that means). But his driving left quite a lot to be desired. To the extent that I was very tempted to message my family to tell them that I loved them just in case I didn’t survive the journey into the city centre. At one point he made a point of having an argument with a speeding priest in the next lane. I should point out that we were going waaaay over the speed limit and both cars had their windows down just so they could scream at each other. Marco was yelling all manner of expletives at this priest, telling him how irresponsible his driving was for going that fast in a van full of children. It was down to me to warn him of the traffic jam we were fast approaching and thank god I did. Otherwise I might not have been here to tell the tale. Anyway, it only made me appreciate getting into Milan that much more.

What breakfast will probably look like for the next month...

The next morning I started work! Italian working life has both been a bit of a shock to the system and a welcome change. In Italy they take two hours off for lunch every day so that people can go home and eat. As a result we finish at 6 but to be honest I wouldn’t want to finish any earlier because it’s so hot outside and I actively avoid the sun these days. Not in a vampire kind of way but because I burn so quickly it's borderline abnormal. The other day I managed to go an impressive shade of pink just sat in a sunny office for 10 minutes. It’s actually really great having the day broken up in the way it is because it means I get a lot of time to chat in Italian in the middle of the day about all manner of things (even the Star Wars realization hit a few days ago).

Corso Como- 2 minute walk from the office!

The first week of work has been fantastic. Granted when I arrived and was immediately thrown in to having to engage my brain and actually speak Italian- or rather, understand it - I panicked somewhat and felt a bit out of my depth. Every day since then I’ve managed to be understood and (apparently) make some helpful contributions. I’ve sat in on various meetings including creative brainstorms for adverts and I have even been asked to choose what the actors should wear! I've been translating from German into Italian and I've even been speaking a bit of French too. Next week I get to go to the filming/ animations of three different TV ads so I’m really looking forward to that. Everyone at the office is really lovely and has been very welcoming considering they weren’t expecting me! I can’t believe I’m already a quarter of the way through my time there, I can tell already that I’m not going to want to leave. The only minor blip I’ve had in Milan so far was my neighbours banging on my door tonight and telling me to stop singing in the shower. Clearly they don’t appreciate Les Mis and so I’m henceforth taking it upon myself to teach them to do so. They’d better be ready…

Photos never do this country justice

I decided to go for a bit of a wander tonight and finally made it to the duomo. I have to say, central Milan is absolutely gorgeous. Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II is just unbelievable. I spent a good few minutes just staring at the ceiling in there, before treating myself to a super poncy risotto and a nice gelato for the road. All in work clothes too, I'm starting to feel well sophisticated innit. I could spend days wandering around this city! And I probably will in the coming weeks, whenever I have time to do so.

Naturally, no trip to Italy would be complete without various overly ambitious weekend trips being planned in. Ambitious in the sense that I’m not only travelling miles and miles, but have also formulated/ am in the process of formulating ridiculously full itineraries for said weekends. Tomorrow I head east to visit Paolo in Bassano, weekend two will mark my return to Trento (YAY!) to visit Linda, and weekend three will hopefully involve a visit from Georgie. Jam-packed, but I'm seeing three of my favourite people over three weekends which is just the way I like it!

The Return of Culture Shock

=> Glamorous Italians. My God I had forgotten how glamorous they all are. And frankly I should have remembered before coming to Milan of all places- there I was for the first three days of my stay, every morning, on the metro, sweating horrendously in the furnace that is the Milanese underground, surrounded by women who looked like they were off to star in the sequel of The Devil Wears Prada. I think this weekend I will be taking advantage of everyone’s advice and hitting the sales. Not that I’m aiming for Runway standards but a little above the M&S Essentials range wouldn’t go amiss.

=> Italians stare. And I mean really stare. I know I’ve got a burnt nose and I’m making questionable fashion decisions but really, that much?!

=> As I’ve mentioned, the driving is unbelievable. Just this evening I was in a taxi and the driver didn’t look as he turned onto a tram track. Luckily the driver of an oncoming tram saw us or I may not have been here to tell the tale (can you see a pattern emerging?). Think it’s the metro every time for me from now on!

=> Seeded grapes. I forget every time and they're just such a pain. I don't mean to sound like a princess but the crack of those seeds gets me every time. Ew. 

=> When you're offered a coffee in Italy it means espresso. I need to remember that before I develop a serious caffeine addiction.

Cioccolato e Yogurt per favore

Prosecco + aubergine caviar risotto with smoked
mozzarella foam- who do I think I am?

**Summary**

1) I’m back in Italy, did I mention that?

2) I’m not in Novara guys, I’m in Milan.

3) I’m attempting to ‘get my shit together’ as they say and enter the professional world- I promise this isn’t a tactical post-Brexit manoeuvre…

4) My escalator coordination leaves quite a lot to be desired.

5) Italian taxi drivers are very chatty and nice for the most part but I draw the line when they risk my life to have high-speed arguments with men of God.

6) Che la forza sia con te (May the force be with you).

7) Work is brilliant and I’m loving every second of it.

8) If my neighbours don’t appreciate Les Mis then I’m going to force it on them by singing as loudly as I can. Evil.

9) I LOVE ITALY!

10) The weekends are looking exceedingly promising- Hugos galore!

Language Blunders Reloaded

  

I managed to really offend someone the other day. Well actually a meeting room full of people. When asked my opinion on a brand new product in the middle of quite a sizeable meeting the other day, I was trying to tell the woman who had asked my opinion that I thought it was really cool. However, instead of saying “è una figata” which would have been the correct response, I replied to her saying that I thought it was “sfigato”, or ‘shit,’ as a colleague informed me later on that day. No wonder I was getting weird looks… 

So, all in all, things are looking very good so far. I’m convinced that before I know it I’m going to find myself sat on a plane back to the UK so I’m currently trying to organise myself to make the most of being here.

You can bet there will be more from me in the next few weeks. Until then I will spend every waking moment (when I’m not working) wandering around this fabulous city and taking it all in. And probably accidentally insulting a few people as I go. I’ll keep you all posted!

Alla prossima!

G x

T Minus 4 Days

It’s now thirteen and a half months since I left Manchester for Florence, and only four days remain of my year abroad. I know I keep saying how unbelievably fast the time has gone, but it’s hitting me more than ever now.

I’m very pleased to say that Trento has only gotten better as the semester has gone on. I’ve done all my exams now and got the results back. Being honest, I was pleasantly surprised with them. Considering how worried I’ve been about my Italian, my lecturers clearly thought I was doing something right, because my grades have been higher here than they have ever been in Bath. Which is strange considering the extent of my new found laissez-faire attitude towards studying; the Italian way of life is sinking in!

Straight after my last exam, I headed back to Alderley for just over two weeks; a very important two weeks for the Lucas family. The first week my wonderful parents celebrated their 25^th wedding anniversary (my Mum is still demanding that somebody award her with some sort of medal) and in the second week my Dad turned 50. Of course, in true Lucas style, both events involved great company, a shed load of my parents’ amazing cooking (centerpieces can be seen above), and crate upon crate of booze. It was great catching up with family and friends after not seeing them for so long, and we managed to get all the family together for the anniversary celebrations; not an easy feat to accomplish. Also I’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone that got involved with our master plan present for my parents, they absolutely loved it and there were even a few tears. Photos to follow in the coming weeks, when I’m no longer surviving on minimal internet.

Wimbledon

Wicked!

Aside from that, it was great catching up with y’all over those two weeks. A huge shout out has to go to the Pasquale family though, for surprising me with tickets to see Wicked! as an early birthday present. A cheeky Nando’s was even thrown in just before the show. My idea of a perfect evening! Not going to lie, I shamelessly broke down during Defying Gravity. It was a brilliant cast and if there is anyone out there that hasn’t yet seen it, I would highly recommend it. It’s not just for hardcore musical goers like me; it’s really funny too. Plus you can get theatre ice cream pots during the interval; what’s not to love? Thank you so much Em!

Maybe the weirdest thing that happened during my time at home was a realisation that I had when I went to watch the Minions movie with friends. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I had an epiphany, but it wasn't far off. Try not to judge me, the logic works out: I found myself laughing at certain points in the film when others weren’t. At around the halfway point of the film, I realised why this was. I remember someone saying once that the minion language is a mix of Italian, French and certain words from various other languages. So there I was, watching a children’s film, understanding the total nonsense that is minion speak. I wasn’t sure how to feel really. It’s certainly not one to write on the CV, and I tried telling my Mum that I had understood minion language, but she clearly thought I’d just been out drinking all afternoon and had lied about going to the cinema.

So following an eventful few weeks up north, I headed back to Italy two weeks ago today with the fantastic Miss Charlotte Hoare (soon to be Mrs Charlotte Wells!) for a week of frivolity, shenanigans and general troublemaking on our first international endeavour together. We managed to get quite a lot done; we went twice to Lake Garda for a fun filled time of cable car trips and lakeside drinking, and the day before Lotty headed home we hit Venice, where we met my exchange partner Paolo, who helped us to see Venice through the eyes of a local. All in all that was a hilarious day, and I’ve come to realise that no matter what language I’m speaking, I will always be the target of (relatively) friendly abuse. It’s quite a thing to witness when two of your good friends, despite language barriers and no prior contact, can communicate rather smoothly through mockery of their mutual friend. We had a great day, mainly involving pizza and a ridiculous sun hat. Wine was a helpful addition for a day of serious translation too, unlike me but most enjoyable. There's nowhere quite like Venice, and I couldn't have asked for two better compadres to spend a day with there!

Dan's a lucky man!

Rialto from our gondola

The day after Lotty went back to old Blighty, my oldest and wackiest friend Laura came to stay for four nights. And I have to say, I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone to be so enthusiastic in the space of such a short holiday! This made me really happy, however, as I realised that her reactions mirrored my own from the first time I’d seen certain places, Venice in particular. Several highlights from my four days with Laura include running away from a man snorting cocaine in a park in Bolzano, asking a gondolier to row us through Venice avoiding the sun as much as possible (hence the purchase of a parasol, don't judge me), and drinking as many Ugos as we could possibly afford/stomach. Plus, I’ve finally found someone who appreciates a good Grom as much as I do. Again, thanks for coming Laura, always a pleasure and I don’t think I’ve laughed so much for a while! I’ve also never met anyone who is so unfazed by language barriers and can communicate mainly through the art of mime. Impressive.

The only way to travel

Venezia, ti amo!

And finally, Wednesday saw the final year abroad reunion of Georgeganor (Georgie, Megan and Eleanor, it took us forever to work that one out). As you can probably guess, we went to Lake Garda, our new favourite place, and we also headed to Verona to have a proper look around. We hit the sightseeing bus and several shops including the Disney store; a winning combination for my last day trip of the year abroad. Els and Megan headed to Siena today for a couple of days of relaxation in the rolling Tuscan hills, but I’ve come to realise that I have a lot more to sort out than I thought I did before my departure, so I’ve stayed in Trento to sort my life out and enjoy the mountain views whilst I still can. I’m also mentally preparing myself for some serious post-year abroad reverse culture shock (it’s a thing, honest!).

An Erasmus student walks into a doctor’s surgery…

Sounds like the start of a bad joke, right? Not far off. The day before I came back to Italy, I had to go to A&E having dropped a hefty wine bottle on my feet. So, having spent all afternoon of that day being told off by various Northerners for wasting alcohol in such a frivolous manner, I returned to Italy with stitched up feet, feeling quite apprehensive about having to negotiate healthcare issues in Italian. Somehow I managed to come out the other side unscathed. But my God, going to the doctor here really makes you appreciate both the NHS and British etiquette in day-to-day situations. Turning up at the doctor the first time, I was a bit worried that I would mistranslate and that he would amputate my leg. That didn’t happen, the doctor was lovely and all of my limbs have remained intact. I did become quite concerned, however, when he was having a look at my injuries, took off all my various bandages and dressings and then announced that he didn’t have any new ones that he could give me so I would have to go and find some from somewhere else. I say again, a DOCTOR said this. And this is where being a hypochondriac really comes in useful; I then pulled out a full medical kit with various bandages, elastoplasts and antiseptic creams. It actually took the doctor a moment to decide which one to use. He was both impressed and bemused at how prepared I was.

And then when I went back the following week, I had to fight people to get in to see the doctor. I’ve never known anything like it. I can’t wait to get home and queue. There, I said it!

Italian men

Now, I don’t wish to generalize, but over the last week I have had more attention from the opposite sex than I have had possibly ever, and there's only one possible explanation for this; all of the blokes involved were Italian...

Exhibit A: a man on the train started quite a nice conversation with me. After no more than two minutes, he said, “So, English, we make the sex now in the bathroom?” When I laughed at this, he looked at me quizzically, clearly not understanding why I wasn’t taking him seriously. I proceeded to bolt to the other end of the train, which was out of air con (desperate times), and hid under my oversized floppy hat in case he came looking. 

Exhibit B: On the train back from Bolzano with Laura, having just legged it away from a cocaine den in the middle of a park, we relaxed thinking we were out of trouble. Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire; a guy came and sat next to us and for some reason chose to try and chat me up instead of Laura (already you know he is visually impaired), and kept asking me to meet him for a drink and to give him all my details, be it Facebook or phone number. So if anyone asks, I deactivated Facebook and lost my phone. He was ridiculously persistent, so I think he was probably drunk.

Exhibit C: Today, walking through Trento, a man stopped me walking through town to shimmy in my face, saying “che bellissima.”

What we can conclude from the above evidence: it doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like; as long as you're breathing and you get your legs out, you've got a shot in Italy. There is hope for me yet, watch this space! 



If anyone needs me over the coming days, you will find me gorging myself on pasta and proper coffee whilst I still can, or staring wistfully at the mountains surrounding Trento. Don't worry yet though, I imagine there will be some more blogging to come in the coming weeks. I'm going to milk this for all it's worth whilst my life remains relatively interesting before the hell of finals begins.

A presto peeps.

G x

20 Things That I’ve Learnt From My Semester in Italy So Far

    1)   When something negative is said against the English it’s a fact, not an opinion.

2)   Pasta will never be the same again 

3)   Neither will coffee

4)   Or gelato (I could go on)

5)   Italians are every bit as nice as you’ve heard

6)   It’s a wonder that anything gets done with Italian bureaucracy. One document took 4 weeks to be signed and was sent to four different people.

7)   Sometimes, Italy can feel about 10 years behind everywhere else (no Wi-Fi in halls).

8)   If you want to be considered a freak by the locals, go ahead and order a cappuccino after 10.30am. Or eat pasta for dinner.

9)    Roads should be avoided after 12pm until 7am, due to the lack of functioning traffic lights.

10)                The Erasmus grant is not generous enough. I will never be able to go everywhere I want to in Italy.

11)                Gocciole are the food of the devil.

12)                Public transport is surprisingly efficient. Trains arrive early here.

13)                When Italians say ‘mild weather’ they mean 30°. When you hear that, buy some sun cream and get your sunnies out.

14)                Electricians will come to your room if you have a problem, but they won’t fix anything. They use your toilet and dance around to Jess Glynne instead.

15)                No camera will ever do the views justice

16)                You don’t speak Italian until you learn to gesticulate properly.

17)                Hopefully a bit more of the Italian language.

18)                Finals look even more depressing now.

19) I'm never going to want to leave.

20)                Without wanting to sound like every other Erasmus student that's ever been before me, this year has been the best of my life so far. Masters abroad anyone?